1. sbyrdistheword:

Defending rapists by listening to their “I couldn’t help myself” excuses shouldn’t be acceptable in any society. Telling rape victims that they deserved the crime isn’t acceptable either. EVERYONE should take offense to the fact that THIS is how our society thinks.
Found on One Million Vaginas

    sbyrdistheword:

    Defending rapists by listening to their “I couldn’t help myself” excuses shouldn’t be acceptable in any society. Telling rape victims that they deserved the crime isn’t acceptable either. EVERYONE should take offense to the fact that THIS is how our society thinks.

    Found on One Million Vaginas

     
  2. sbyrdistheword:

    comediefrancaise:

    sbyrdistheword:

    So for those of you who don’t know, I was [sexually harassed today].

    And then I saw this girl slut-shaming on facebook right after that…and that triggered me.

    (read this from right to left)

    So I spent a long ass time of my life convincing her that

    a) slut and victim shaming is wrong

    b) wearing revealing clothing should not merit harassment

    c) wearing modest clothing does not all ways NOT bring about harassment

          i) there is no way to prevent harassment

    d) wearing revealing clothing or wearing modest clothing is fine…just as long as the woman or person of another gender has the choice to choose between the two by herself

    So, today, I’ve been fighting street harassment and stopping victim/slut shaming all in one day, so I’ve decided I am…*drumroll*…Social Justice Girl! :)

    You’ll notice the only thing men had to contribute to the conversation was guffawing about “tits”

    It’s pretty sad how people of all genders, not just men, can’t take serious conversations seriously.

    Jesus fucking Christ I wanna punch that Caroline chick in the mouth

     
  3. sbyrdistheword:

    Unfortunately, I experienced first-hand the terror of street harassment today. It’s not a compliment. It was not invited. And it’s not something that should be ignored.

    Harassing someone on the street =//= a compliment. Learn why it’s wrong on every level.

    Educate yourself.

    Everyone reblog this! I know this girl…what she experienced is NOT OKAY! We all need to be able to speak up about sexual harassment. 

     
  4. 17:17 22nd Jun 2012

    Notes: 294

    Reblogged from fuckyeahsexeducation

    Tags: victim blaming

    rapeculturerealities:

    While eliminating violent acts is imperative, reducing the concept of a hostile school environment to the acts of individual (troubled) students who can be rehabilitated merely contains and manages the violence, rather than addressing its causes. When the absence of reported bullying functions as the indicator of a safe or inclusive school for LGBTQ students and families, we fail to account for the social processes at work in sustaining the patterns of homophobic bullying and the — subtle, often unintentional — ways schools help to sustain these patterns decade after decade, beginning in the early years of schooling.

    We want to challenge the taken-for-granted conceptualization of LGBTQ youths’ school experiences and argue for a broader understanding that encompasses cultural systems of power — specifically along lines of gender and sexuality — that persistently privilege specific groups of youth while marginalizing others. In other words, we need to examine how U.S. culture assumes heterosexuality and traditional gender expressions to be “normal” and “right” and how such values permeate the policies, procedures, and curricula in K-12 schools, making non-traditional gender expressions and sexualities “not normal” and “wrong/bad” or “less than” and thus potential targets.

    Shifting the definition of “the problem” in this way demands a different framing of peer-to-peer aggression than that which underlies the dominant bullying discourse. It requires recognition of how patterns of targeting serve the purpose of enforcing strict cultural expectations around gender and sexuality — and how these cultural expectations are being taught and reinforced by the schools themselves. Further, this shift calls for an examination of how aggression functions in youths’ pursuit of social status in elementary, middle and high school.

    Because victim blaming isn’t just for rape/sexual assault victims/survivors…

    (Source: sociolab)

     
  5. image: Download

    fuckyeahfeminists:

overratedunderwhelmed:

sanityscraps:

fuckyeahfeminists:

DEAD



Rihanna - feminist icon?

I just kind of lost all respect for her after she got back with Chris Brown. Lack of money/resources, having kids with a partner…those are usually the reasons it’s a lot easier said than done leaving an abuser. But she has money and resources out the ying-yang, no kids with Brown…so she chose to go back to him. 

So I normally do not look at the responses or notes in my blog because it is often a lot to go through or I am just too busy. However, I saw this on my phone and I felt like I had to respond because this is really worrisome logic and I think this is something that needs to be address.
First of all, I chose this screencap because I thought it was kickass that Rihanna used a snarky ass response to some fucking slut-shaming and body policing. It’s one thing to disagree with someone’s outfit, but to equate covering one’s body and ‘classing it up’ is just not okay. The media been having fun trying to hate on her and I like that she fought back in her little way. While she herself may not be a feminist (I have no idea if she is or not - and frankly, right now I don’t care), the act of speaking out against that shit can be seen as a feminist act.
Secondly, I think it’s really fucking problematic for us to only find victims/survivors to return to abusers acceptable under certain circumstances. There is more to being in an abusive relationship than economic dependency. The person being abused can be more successful, have more potential for independence, have friends, etc. That does not change the inevitable mental and emotional manipulation that happens to someone abused. Remember, this person loves the individual that has created this terrible trap - even if it isnt physical it is most definitely mental. So there are more reason than just MONEY or CHILDREN for people to stay.
Many couples don’t have children. Many teens end up in abusive relationships and stay. Most of these teens are not economically dependent on their partner, but rather their guardians. Should we judge these teens who go back to abusers because there’s “no reason” to stay or return? No. Fuck that. 
THIS SORT of mentality is what perpetuates this victim-blaming culture where we still hold this disproportional responsibility on the abused to avoid being abused. People lose respect for Rihanna and then Chris Brown is celebrated and the rest of us is told to “move on?”
Fine, say you lose respect for Rihanna. That’s your perogative. But DON’T create this hierarchy of ‘acceptable reasons to stay with your abuser.’ That’s really fucking wrong and that’s personally hurtful - I know what it’s like to be trapped mentally in an abusive relationship. It isn’t just about physical dependency. There’s so much more. And existing in a culture where the abused has to deal with so much more scrutiny not only for being abused, but for their behavior before and after that it is no wonder people feel inclined to stay.
It is so easy to blame yourself - I know I’ve done that and sometimes slip into that mentality today YEARS later, but I can’t IMAGINE how tough it is to have millions of people around the world blaming you, saying your abuser is innocent, etc. It can be so easy to really just give in to one’s feelings and take an easier (at least in the short run) choice to go back.
In the end, I totally know it must be hard for her. I know how hard it is for other survivors. We need to check ourselves when we decide to choose to comment on the decisions of people while in the really fucking hard period of going through a violence relationship. Perhaps I should not be respected for going back to abusers - to people who have bruised me, sent me to the hospital, raped me. But I know deep down I am not to blame and there are a million different reasons and other pressures that make it so hard to leave.
/end rant

    fuckyeahfeminists:

    overratedunderwhelmed:

    sanityscraps:

    fuckyeahfeminists:

    DEAD

    Rihanna - feminist icon?

    I just kind of lost all respect for her after she got back with Chris Brown. Lack of money/resources, having kids with a partner…those are usually the reasons it’s a lot easier said than done leaving an abuser. But she has money and resources out the ying-yang, no kids with Brown…so she chose to go back to him. 

    So I normally do not look at the responses or notes in my blog because it is often a lot to go through or I am just too busy. However, I saw this on my phone and I felt like I had to respond because this is really worrisome logic and I think this is something that needs to be address.

    First of all, I chose this screencap because I thought it was kickass that Rihanna used a snarky ass response to some fucking slut-shaming and body policing. It’s one thing to disagree with someone’s outfit, but to equate covering one’s body and ‘classing it up’ is just not okay. The media been having fun trying to hate on her and I like that she fought back in her little way. While she herself may not be a feminist (I have no idea if she is or not - and frankly, right now I don’t care), the act of speaking out against that shit can be seen as a feminist act.

    Secondly, I think it’s really fucking problematic for us to only find victims/survivors to return to abusers acceptable under certain circumstances. There is more to being in an abusive relationship than economic dependency. The person being abused can be more successful, have more potential for independence, have friends, etc. That does not change the inevitable mental and emotional manipulation that happens to someone abused. Remember, this person loves the individual that has created this terrible trap - even if it isnt physical it is most definitely mental. So there are more reason than just MONEY or CHILDREN for people to stay.

    Many couples don’t have children. Many teens end up in abusive relationships and stay. Most of these teens are not economically dependent on their partner, but rather their guardians. Should we judge these teens who go back to abusers because there’s “no reason” to stay or return? No. Fuck that.

    THIS SORT of mentality is what perpetuates this victim-blaming culture where we still hold this disproportional responsibility on the abused to avoid being abused. People lose respect for Rihanna and then Chris Brown is celebrated and the rest of us is told to “move on?”

    Fine, say you lose respect for Rihanna. That’s your perogative. But DON’T create this hierarchy of ‘acceptable reasons to stay with your abuser.’ That’s really fucking wrong and that’s personally hurtful - I know what it’s like to be trapped mentally in an abusive relationship. It isn’t just about physical dependency. There’s so much more. And existing in a culture where the abused has to deal with so much more scrutiny not only for being abused, but for their behavior before and after that it is no wonder people feel inclined to stay.

    It is so easy to blame yourself - I know I’ve done that and sometimes slip into that mentality today YEARS later, but I can’t IMAGINE how tough it is to have millions of people around the world blaming you, saying your abuser is innocent, etc. It can be so easy to really just give in to one’s feelings and take an easier (at least in the short run) choice to go back.

    In the end, I totally know it must be hard for her. I know how hard it is for other survivors. We need to check ourselves when we decide to choose to comment on the decisions of people while in the really fucking hard period of going through a violence relationship. Perhaps I should not be respected for going back to abusers - to people who have bruised me, sent me to the hospital, raped me. But I know deep down I am not to blame and there are a million different reasons and other pressures that make it so hard to leave.

    /end rant

     
  6. Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.

    If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.

    If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?

    A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.

    If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.

     
  7. lord-kitschener:

    Abortion and Statistics

    bacon-beer-and-boobs:

    thisgingersnapsback:

    maybeitspms:

    anotherprodigal:

    [TW: rape]

    It’s funny how when debating with someone about abortion the first thing they say is usually along the lines of, “Well when you have women being raped and poking themselves with metal clothes hangers, there’s an issue. Every woman should have the right to choose and the government should keep their big noses out of it.” 

    Rape is only 1% of all abortion cases. Even if it was okay to have abortion because of a rape case, that still wouldn’t make any significant difference in the amount of abortions per year.

    Also, when I’m talking about abortion, I’m not talking about the government. Sure, they usually get involved somehow or another, but I’m talking about a morally issue. Having an abortion is killing a human being. 

    References:

    http://www.nytimes.com/1989/10/13/us/rape-and-incest-just-1-of-all-abortions.html

     http://www.christiananswers.net/q-sum/q-life005.html

    That 1% still really, really matters. Anybody that wants an abortion should be able to get one because we all have the right to disallow the use of our bodies.

    I don’t see how you don’t understand that forcing someone to remain pregnant against their will is torture.

    This is absolutely disgusting. OP, if you actually read the article, you would realize that while 1% might seem like a low number to you, it’s roughly 16,000 abortions that occurred due to cases of rape or incest.

    16,000 people. You can’t just fucking IGNORE that number, jesus christ.

    And this was probably the most disgusting bit of the article:

    ”Reporting to public health authorities could mean just telling an abortion clinic,” said Mr. Johnson. ”Pennsylvania used to allow funding for abortions where the pregnancy was due to rape or incest, and pro-abortion groups made it an open invitation to assert that you’d been raped if you wanted an abortion.

    ”Last year, when the Pennsylvania Legislature modified the law to say it only covered rape or incest reported to law-enforcement authorities, the number of publicly funded abortions dropped from 35 a month to 3.”

    The rates dropped NOT because women had been lying about being raped before, which is what this article and you (inherently, by using it as your “source”) more than implying. Are you unaware of how many rapes go unreported? Or more importantly, the reasons why? Intimidation or blackmail—or, most often, shame, because rape cases are treated miserably. 

    Only 46 out of every 100 rapes are ever reported to the police. Only 12 lead to arrest. Only 9 rapists are prosecuted. Only 5 cases end with a Felony conviction. Oh, and only 3 out of every 100 rapists will ever spend more than a single day in prison. [Source] The “law” is NOT on the side of victims, so of-fucking-COURSE they’re going to feel a million times more comfortable reporting their tragedy to a clinic or some place far more understanding and sympathetic than the defunct, bullshit excuse we’ve got for a legal system, where they’re more likely to be laughed out of the room than not, and often accompanied by a healthy does of victim-blaming.

    This entire article is absolutely disgusting, and you OP, are disgusting for promoting it. I’m sorry that 16,000 people are insignificant to you, but luckily they are not to people who actually want to help them—not sit around and say “Well sorry ‘bout your luck!”

    Fuck off OP. Fuck. Off.

    What Brittany said.

     
  8. dwindled:

    Your worth is not based on how you look or how you dress. It is not based on whether or not you look or act “promiscuously” or “pure”. It is not based on how many sexual partners you have had, who they were, or whether or not you were in a monogamous relationship with them. If you have had several sexual partners or very few sexual partners it will not affect the quality of the people you choose to be with and it will not affect anyone’s ability to love you. If someone truly loves you, they will love you regardless. Having a lot of sex or having no sex doesn’t mean you’re insecure. Making personal choices regarding your sex life doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means that you’re strong enough to make the choices that are best for you and your life.

     
  9. truthbeginsinengland:

    ARE THEY SERIOUS?

    Here is just some of the shit that made me exclaim aloud ‘ARE YOU SERIOUS??’

    ‘“Rape and incest was used as a reason to oppose this,” said state Sen. Chuck Winder (R). “I would hope that when a woman goes in to a physician with a rape issue, that physician will indeed ask her about perhaps her marriage, was this pregnancy caused by normal relations in a marriage or was it truly caused by a rape. I assume that’s part of the counseling that goes on.”

    The odds that a woman who is raped will get pregnant are “one in millions and millions and millions,” said state Rep. Stephen Freind, R-Delaware County, the Legislature’s leading abortion foe.

    The reason, Freind said, is that the traumatic experience of rape causes a woman to “secrete a certain secretion” that tends to kill sperm.

    (Source: iwillnotbebullied)