1. I Love When People Say That If We Allow Gays to Get Married

    andrewfath:

    Then what about polygamist marriages? Ugh, so you’re pulling that card after you’ve exhausted all your time-tried-and-failed other methods? Well let’s see, polygamist marriages, while technically “illegal”, are still occuring all across the United States. Hello Mormonism? And the hit show on TLC “Sister Wives” in which three or four sisters (I don’t remember if one of them wasn’t related to the others or not) are married TO THE SAME MAN.

    But here’s the thing: Homosexuality, just like heterosexuality and bisexuality, is just that. It’s a SEXUALITY. You’re either attracted to men or women or both or neither. Polygamy is a choice to accumulate spouses so that you can either have more kids or have more sex or just be able to say “Hey! I’m married to 12 women!”. 

    But regardless, polygamy doesn’t have to do with attraction. It has to do with desire for more. 

    I don’t see why it’s so hard for people to not feel the need to butt into other people’s business. “Oh but you gays are all in my face with your pride parades and blah blah blah.” Yes, we do have our pride parades because we have yet to be recognized by the government of the United States as well as countless countries around the world as a legitimate sexuality that is capable of love and compassion just like heterosexual couples. 

    We live in a country of grand acceptance. Universal suffrage, freedom from bondage, the right to vote for who represents us, and the believe that even the person from the most humble of beginnings can one day have a say in the rulings of the nation are part of our lives. Yet we still live in a country where a representatives of the people can have the idiocy to say things such as that a woman’s body can shut down the reproduction system after rape, and still be allowed to retain any type of leadership power, and where the few (whether they be religiously, politically, or ideologically motivated) can tell me who I can and cannot be married.

     
  2. Why, just last week, Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council said that marriage has meant just [one man and one woman] for over five thousand years.

    Huh?

    Time to break out your Bible, Mr. Perkins! Abraham had two wives, Sarah and her handmaiden Hagar. King Solomon had 700 wives, plus 300 concubines and slaves. Jacob, the patriarch who gives Israel its name, had two wives and two concubines. In a humanist vein, Exodus 21:10 warns that when men take additional wives, they must still provide for their previous one. (Exodus 21:16 adds that if a man seduces a virgin and has sex with her, he has to marry her, too.)

    But that’s not all. In biblical society, when you conquered another city, tribe, or nation, the victorious men would “win” their defeated foes’ wives as part of the spoils. It also commanded levirate marriage, the system wherein, if a man died, his younger brother would have to marry his widow and produce heirs with her who would be considered the older brother’s descendants. Now that’s traditional marriage!

     
  3. image: Download

    thisthat-and-liberalstuff:

face-down-asgard-up:

So, can I tell you why this bugs me? Don’t get me wrong, I think love and enduring love especially are amazing things. And, yes, for a relationship to work for a long time you have to put in a lot of work. On the surface, this is a touching and lovely thing. But allow me and my emotional baggage to rant for a moment:
I’m divorced. My parents are divorced. For our situations, divorce was the best option. You can’t fix a relationship if the other person has already given up and walked away. When I see this quote, I get a little edgy because it feels like people are saying you shouldn’t ever throw away a broken relationship.
Often times, you have to. A broken or toxic relationship can really harm you if you continue to try and save it. There’s no shame in that. There’s no shame in saying, “I tried. It didn’t work and now I have to think about me and my future.”
I also have a lot of feelings about the history of the institution of marriage and how it’s viewed by society as the ultimate in an expression of love and commitment. It’s a legal contract. That’s really all it is. For some people, that contract can be great. For others, it can be really damaging. Again, I see no shame in realizing the legal contract you entered in to isn’t working and terminating it. If that’s what you need to do in order to live better, then do it.
I don’t know. For someone who has been through a divorce, I get kind of tired of society’s assumption that it’s an easy out. It’s not easy. It’s not easy emotionally, mentally, financially. It’s not something you just do. “Oh hey you know I was cool with being married but now I am kinda bored. Think I’ll just go get a divorce!” It almost never happens that way. Making the decision to get a divorce is hard and it hurts. It’s so very far from easy.
I also don’t think long-term committed relationships are the ultimate end goal for every one. I think for a lot of us there will be several people that we love and love passionately. But just because those relationships don’t last for decades doesn’t mean they weren’t important and amazing and wonderful. It doesn’t mean someone gave up along the way. It just means those relationships ran their course and the individuals involved can move on, be happy, and still appreciate that period of time with the other person.
FEELS. I just have a lot of feels, ok?

All. Of. This. Right. Here. 

    thisthat-and-liberalstuff:

    face-down-asgard-up:

    So, can I tell you why this bugs me? Don’t get me wrong, I think love and enduring love especially are amazing things. And, yes, for a relationship to work for a long time you have to put in a lot of work. On the surface, this is a touching and lovely thing. But allow me and my emotional baggage to rant for a moment:

    I’m divorced. My parents are divorced. For our situations, divorce was the best option. You can’t fix a relationship if the other person has already given up and walked away. When I see this quote, I get a little edgy because it feels like people are saying you shouldn’t ever throw away a broken relationship.

    Often times, you have to. A broken or toxic relationship can really harm you if you continue to try and save it. There’s no shame in that. There’s no shame in saying, “I tried. It didn’t work and now I have to think about me and my future.”

    I also have a lot of feelings about the history of the institution of marriage and how it’s viewed by society as the ultimate in an expression of love and commitment. It’s a legal contract. That’s really all it is. For some people, that contract can be great. For others, it can be really damaging. Again, I see no shame in realizing the legal contract you entered in to isn’t working and terminating it. If that’s what you need to do in order to live better, then do it.

    I don’t know. For someone who has been through a divorce, I get kind of tired of society’s assumption that it’s an easy out. It’s not easy. It’s not easy emotionally, mentally, financially. It’s not something you just do. “Oh hey you know I was cool with being married but now I am kinda bored. Think I’ll just go get a divorce!” It almost never happens that way. Making the decision to get a divorce is hard and it hurts. It’s so very far from easy.

    I also don’t think long-term committed relationships are the ultimate end goal for every one. I think for a lot of us there will be several people that we love and love passionately. But just because those relationships don’t last for decades doesn’t mean they weren’t important and amazing and wonderful. It doesn’t mean someone gave up along the way. It just means those relationships ran their course and the individuals involved can move on, be happy, and still appreciate that period of time with the other person.

    FEELS. I just have a lot of feels, ok?

    All. Of. This. Right. Here. 

    (Source: cyoung12)

     
  4. seriouslyamerica:

    A taste of the group’s “$20 million plan” to defeat what they call “the pro-gay Obama agenda”:

    “Find, equip, energize and connect African American spokespeople for marriage, develop a media campaign around their objections to gay marriage as a civil right; provoke the gay marriage base into responding by denouncing these spokesmen and women as bigots.”

    NOM didn’t stop there. Here’s their plan to stop the assimilation of Latino voters:

    “The Latino vote in America is a key swing vote, and will be so even more so in the future, both because of demographic growth and inherent uncertainty: Will the process of assimilation to the dominant Anglo culture lead Hispanics to abandon traditional family values? We must interrupt this process of assimilation by making support for marriage a key badge of Latino identity — a symbol of resistance to inappropriate assimilation.”

    As soon as you read the phrase “endorsed Rick Santorum for president” you know you’re dealing with the scum of the human species.

     
  5.  
  6. image: Download

    motherjones:

Context: Rick Santorum pledges to repeal 130,000 legally recognized same-sex marriages if elected president.
     
  7. Sex on TV: Premature Engagement

    bedsider:

    A note from Lauren: Please excuse my absence this week, but trust in the fact that I’ve left the “Sex on TV” duties to a guest blogger who will not let you down. Plus, like I learned from television, the younger and cuter girl is always more desirable. So I present to you the musings of our intern, Roxanne, who still has the positive and ambitious attitude of a college student. The cynicism will come soon and fast, my dear.

    *****

    Although I graduated from college this past December, I won’t feel like it’s official until I walk the stage and receive my “diploma” (we all know they just hand you a blank piece of paper). As graduation day approaches, I notice myself getting anxious about my future and I think rightfully so. I have absolutely no idea where I am going to be or what I will be doing in June. Every time I think about my future I feel my stomach churning.

    Recently during an episode of Glee, Finn struggled with decisions about his future. He is lost, just as most high school seniors are, but the difference between him and most other students is that he decides love is his number one priority. So he proposes to his girlfriend, Rachel. And for Rachel, growing increasingly nervous about her own future as she watches her friends get accepted to college and make plans while she’s still in limbo, she decides to accept Finn’s proposal. Is this really the way to get control over your life?

    It seems like we’ve moved away from the cliché “after prom sex episode” (since now most programs are showing characters having sex throughout high school, not waiting for prom night) and instead towards the life-changing marriage proposal. My first memory of this prolific moment comes from Boy Meets World. Does anyone else remember watching Topanga propose to Corey while the rest of their classmates throw their caps in the air to celebrate their high school graduation? We all know how it ends… they decide not to get married right away and end up getting married during college (I know… so much more realistic).

    We then move onto one of my favorite shows, Gilmore Girls. As Rory is about to graduate from Yale, Logan (her boyfriend of a couple of years) decides to pop the question. After some deliberation, Rory says no to Logan because, let’s be honest, there is a lot she wants to do before tying the knot. And really, who can blame her?

    Even in comedies like That ’70s Show, the teenagers turn to proposals. When Eric is worried about his future with Donna at the end of high school he jumps to proposing. Even though his friends tell him it’s a bad idea, he does it anyway. And guess what… the wedding doesn’t happen.  Obviously TV has to make things over the top and dramatic, but does it always have to be this all or nothing nonsense?

    Now, before you say I don’t know what I am talking about because I have never been in a serious relationship and when you are in love age doesn’t make a difference, you should all know I have been with same person for almost 5 years. I can also tell you that as I try to figure out my life after graduation, I am not considering marriage. I am 22-years-old and not ready to get married, but that doesn’t mean I want to break-up with my boyfriend or that he isn’t a factor in my decisions. Obviously I can’t speak for him entirely (hope things don’t get awkward when he reads this), but I’m pretty sure we are on the same page.

    So what’s wrong with me? According to TV, I should be picking out china patterns and planning my first kid by now. Apparently once a couple has had sex, the next step is marriage. Look at Finn and Rachel—they had sex earlier this season and now we have a proposal. But before they walk down the aisle, they should probably keep in mind that teen marriages are twice as likely to fail as marriages in which the woman is at least 25-years-old.

    I’m not saying that teenagers and young adults should give up on love, but it’s important to remember that a relationship, or sex for that matter, doesn’t define you. Who knows if the Finn/Rachel wedding will actually happen, but it’s wrong that just because the two feel lost they made such a drastic decision. An engagement at 18 doesn’t make life less scary or complicated. You need to know who you are before making that type of commitment.

    “Engagement ring” image by Tela Chhe.

    *****

    Lauren Mann works in The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Entertainment Media department. She’s been blogging about sex, love and relationships among twenty-somethings since she first joined the Campaign as an intern in 2009. Check out her personal blog at whatjewtalkingbout.tumblr.com.